Wishing

The Girlfriend

2009-04-05T21:37:38Z

The Girlfriend

You are 39% Passionate, 55% Romantic, and 13% Experienced!

Sweet Kisses, Sweet Girl.

So you're The Girlfriend. We call you that not because you're necessarily someone's girlfriend right now, but because you're the ideal girlfriend to smooch when you ARE hooked up. You've got high ratings for both Romance (55%) and Passion (13%). ) and you're experienced enough to be a sensitive and sexy kisser without being SO experienced it turns potential partners off.

You can be super-girly, and you appreciate some of the gestures of traditional romance. But you're also more than ready for a deep, steamy makeout session with a hottie you dig. You don't like to play games, and you're generous with both your affection and your lust. You like to get to know your makeout partner over time, and you pride yourself on being able to provide what they need. In short, you're hard-wired for kissing people you care about, and the depth of your experience is going to prove more valuable than breadth in the long run.

The Boyfriend (or, hey, The Girlfriend) and The Real Deal are the best matches to your superb smooching skills. If you just want a great makeout, you might try The Vixen or The Rogue. They're suitable matches on the passion scale, but they're lacking in the kind of romance you crave, so don't say we didn't warn you if they love you and leave you. (They can't help it... they're just sort of like that.)

Some things to think about... LOL

2009-03-16T22:04:58Z

Found this at www.bored.com!! LOL Too hilarious..

When French people swear do they say pardon my English?

Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?

Can a fire truck park in the fire lane?

Can it be cloudy and foggy at the same time?

Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Can you get cornered in a round room?

In that song, she'll be coming around the mountain, who is she?

How come we say 'It's colder than hell outside' when isn't it realistically always colder than hell since hell is supposed to be fire and brimstone?

If a fork were made of gold would it still be considered silverware?

If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?

Why do you get in trouble for blocking an exit when you're standing in the doorway? In case of an emergency, wouldn't you run out, too, therefore NOT blocking the exit?

Which way does a compass point in space?

If the president were gay, would his husband be the first man?

If you were a genie and a person asked you this wish, "I wish you would not grant me this wish" what would you do?

Why do people say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it?

Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are both the same number of letters?

Why is snow white and ice clear? Aren't they just different forms of water?

If scientists were ever going to figure out how to travel through time, wouldn’t we now be seeing people from the future?

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

When something's funny why is it called a "knee-slapper" when you actually slap your thigh?

If you die and you have a broken leg do they take the cast off?

Is sign language the same in languages other than English?

Why is "number" abbreviated as "no"? When there is no "o" in number?

Why do they call the small candy bars the "fun sizes"? Wouldn't be more fun to
eat a big one?

Just what was the "Baby On Board" sign for? Did it help us decide which car not to
hit in case of an accident?

Can you cry under water?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in" but it's only a "penny for your
thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going too ?

Why do people call it an ATM machine, but they know it's really saying Automated Teller Machine Machine?

Same with NID day, wouldn't that be, Non-instructional day day?

And PIN number when that truly means Personal Identification Number Number?

Since there is a rule that states "i" before "e" except after "c", wouldn't "science" be spelled wrong?

Do stuttering people stutter when they're thinking to themselves?

If CD’s were spun in the opposite direction, would it say everything backwards?

If lava melts rock, wouldn’t the lava melt the volcano?

Are children who use sign language allowed to talk with their mouth full?

If you were born exactly on 12:00 midnight on December 31st – January 1st, which year would you say you were born in?

If marriage means you fell in love, does divorce mean you climbed out?

If London Bridge is standing why is there a song about it falling down?

When lightning strikes the ocean why don't all the fish die?

If I raise the volume on my radio, does it use more electricity?

If you died on the International Dateline, and half of you were on 1 side and the other half on the other side, what day would you die?

If the weather man says "it's a 50% chance of rain" does that mean he has no idea if its going to rain or not?

Can't anybody who has a job go in the "employees only" doors at restaurants? Shouldn’t they be more specific and say "employees of this place only"?

What is the parking situation like at the Special Olympics?

Is it possible to scream at the bottom of your lungs?

Is there anything easier done than said?

If no one buys a ticket to a movie, does the movie still play?

If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?

Don’t you find it weird that we teach our kids: scrub a dub dub, three men in a tub?

If you could walk through the walls, wouldn’t you fall through the floor?

If your named Will and you are in the army do you get worried when people say fire at will?

Do fish ever get thirsty?

Why can't we sneeze with our eyes open?

If there were a knowledge contest, would the female winner be called Miss Informed?

If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t more people happy?

What does the T in T-Shirt really mean?

If you built a time machine with all new parts, when you went back would the parts you use dissapear because they didn't exist then?

If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?

If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?

What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

If your plan is having no plan, do you have a plan?

If anything's possible, then is it possible that nothing's possible?

If a policecar, an ambulance, a fire truck and a mail truck are all at a 4 way stop who has the right away?

Why are rubber duckies yellow when most real ducks aren't?

Are there female leprechauns?

Would it be possible for a solar car to travel faster then the speed of light?

Why do people say heads up when you should duck?

If you are born on February 29 of a leap year, when is your birthday?

What do you say when someone says you're in denial, but you're not?

If you had x-ray vision, but closed your eyes, could you still see?

If you have x-ray vision, and you can see through anything, wouldn't you see through everything and actually see nothing?

In some books, why do they have blank pages at the very end?

If the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?

How do you handcuff a one-armed man?

If you decide that you're indecisive, which one are you?

If someone can't see, they're blind and if someone can't hear, they're deaf, so what do you call people who can't smell?

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

What is a male ladybug called?

Why are semi-trucks bigger than regular trucks?

If you mated a bull dog and a shitsu, would it be called a bullshit?

Why do they put "for indoor or outdoor use only" on Christmas lights?

If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them?

Do they have the word "dictionary" in the dictionary?

Why are they called goose bumps? Do geese get people bumps?

Why is it that lemon dishsoap is made with real lemons, but lemon juice is artificial flavoring?

Why do people never say "it's only a game" when they're winning?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

If you try to fail and succeed, what did you just do?

What do you call male ballerinas?

How come the sun makes your skin darker but your hair lighter?

If you dig a tunnel straight through the earth, will you come out with your feet first?

Are zebras black with white stripes, or white with black stripes?

What came first, the fruit or the color orange?

If there's an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule?

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

What's the difference between a wise man and a wise guy?

How can you hear yourself think?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If Barbie is so popular, then why do you have to buy her friends?

Aren't all generalizations false?

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?

If a chronic liar tells you he is a chronic liar do you believe him?

If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?

If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

If you dive into a pool of dry ice, can you swim without getting wet?

What color is a chameleon on a mirror?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

What's another word for synonym?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is?

Why is the alphabet in that order?

Why is the word "abbreviate" so long?

Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?

Can someone have their head in the clouds and be down-to-earth at the same time?

If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured, would they remember
that they forgot?

Sorting Hat

2009-03-11T16:37:33Z

Ah, I love these things... How crazy is this? I was for sure I was gonna be in Hufflepuff or something... but I certainly like being here better!! More fun!! But why didn't they list Draco?? Hmm...

Your result for The Sorting Hat Test ...

Slytherin

You scored 32% Order/Chaos, and 40% Moral/Rational

Chaotic Rationality. You don't think much of rules and restrictions; you look at things from an analytical perspective and probably think morality is relative to some extent. Your strength lies in being able to make your own judgments and form your own strategies uninhibited by others; your weakness lies in the wariness other people may have of you, perceiving you as dangerous.

You join people like Theodore Nott, Severus Snape, and Horace Slughorn.

The 4-grid I used to determine this is as follows:

	Chaotic	Orderly
Moral	Gryffindor	Hufflepuff
Rational	Slytherin	Ravenclaw

HP Twinsmut comm

2009-03-11T16:02:49Z

LOL Ok, so stolen (kinda) from dysonrules' journal and I felt like a bit of pimping for the awesomeness of this comm!! :D And draykonis is an absolute GENIUS!! Really, I mean come on, LOOK at this banner!!

meme

2008-12-07T07:54:25Z

Saw this on TB's page... I'm not sure of the protocol concerning these but I rather liked this one... and, apparently, she saw it on another's page and stole. So can this be stolen twice? :D

1. What are your nicknames?

Strangely enough, I don't have any. I've got one friend who started calling me Mel as a shortened version of my first name but it never stuck... does 'hey you' count?

2. How do you style your hair?
Well, it's long right now so... messy bun seems to be it right now. It's paper and exam time... I haven't the energy to straighten or curl it right now...

3. What's new in your life right now?
...nothing? wow, that's sad.

4. What color shirt are you wearing now?
White.

5. Are you an introvert or extrovert?
Well... I tend toward intro but with family and close friends I'm the extrovert. So a good mix, I suppose.

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
Loving and being loved back. Nothing beats it.

7. Do you nap a lot?
I wish I had the time...but no. It throws me off and then I'm screwed.

8. If the person you secretly like is already taken, what would you do?
Nothing. What else is there to do? Besides, it's secret and I generally don't like someone who's taken for very long once I find out.

9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
My crim teacher dumping three more essays on us ON TOP of the three papers I already have to write. This is first year! They said it'd be brutal but seriously? I think my teach is just a sadist.

10. What was the last thing you ate today?
Mocha cream pie. Delicious! And I don't regret it a bit! :D

11. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
Including shower? Ummm....45 minutes I think. Depends on where I'm going, what I'm doing and who's gonna see me. Can take as little as 15 minutes.

12. What websites do you visit daily?
Gmail to fanfiction or LJ, then I hit hotmail which goes to Facebook and then to yahoo which usually leads to lolcatz since my bro and I like to send good ones back and forth and then...well, that's usually it daily.

13. When you were a kid, did you want to grow up to do what you're doing now?
I can't remember what I wanted to be... other than what I was told I ought to be, which was a doctor so that I could take care of my family... my Asian grandparents who work too hard, my mentally unstable mother, and my other farmer grandparents. My father is doing fine, I believe. I have since changed that goal to 'rich'... doctor isn't my thing.

14. If you could make anyone your personal butler/maid for the day, who would it be?
This guy from my class... only because I know he makes mean coffee... which I am in desperate need of.

15. What’s the last song that got stuck in your head?
If I were a Boy- Beyonce

16. What is your primary music-playing contraption?
IPod.

17. What's better: eternal love or memorable love?
Aren't eternal loves memorable?

18. What would you do if you saw $100 lying on the ground?
Pick it up and donate it... 'cause I'm sure that's what the person was going to do with it anyways... and then it's not on my conscience.

19. What would be your one incentive for changing your gender?
?! I'm just learning to love my body... I certainly don't need another reason to hate it!

20. Favorite ice cream topping?
Caramel

* Bold the ones that are true.
* Italicize the ones that are sort of true.
Please elaborate on them too ;)

General
- I am 5'4" or shorter
- I think I'm ugly.
- I have many scars. (They're little but do I ever! That's what you get growing up on a farm with a younger brother... and parents who believe outside is the place where kids should be)
- I tan easily. (Hell yeah... drives my best friend insane... she's so pale she burns within seconds! My lovely Asian/Aboriginal skin just soaks up the rays :D)
- I wish my hair was a different color.
- I have friends who have never seen my natural hair colour.
- I have a tattoo. (My grandmother would kill me... but I'm planning on one)
- I am self-conscious about my appearance. (Big time! At least, in public...)
- I have/had braces.
- I wear glasses. (Since I was... 8 I think)
- I'd get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free, scar-free.
- I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger. (Che. No way. Pretty? Yes. Attractive? Nope. At least, not by a complete stranger)
- I have had more than two piercings.
- I have had piercings in places besides my ears. (Another one of those things my Oma would get me for)
- I have freckles. (Moles, I have a ton of them all over... in weird places. Like my ear. At least they're small...)

Family/Home Life
- I've sworn at my parents. (I'm pretty sure I haven't come across as suicidal, have I?)
- I've run away from home.
- I've been kicked out of the house.
- My biological parents are together. (Not for a really long time)
- I have a sibling less than one year old. (Nah, she's five now though and the cutest thing!)
- I want to have kids someday. (Every now and then I think I would like to... with the right person)
- I have children.
- I've lost a child.

Embarrassment
- I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation. (No, but for some reason I used to say 'snicker'...thank god someone made fun of me and I quit within the week of starting that horrendous episode. Forgive me, I was 9... if that's any excuse at all)
- Disney movies still make me cry. (I just don't watch the one's that get me anymore.)
- I've snorted while laughing. (Yes, and I wish I didn't)
- I've laughed so hard I've cried.
- I've glued my hand to something.
- I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose. (Not my proudest moment...)
- I've had my trousers rip in public.
- I've had stitches.
- I've broken a bone.
- I've had my tonsils removed.
- I've sat in a doctor's office with a friend.
- I've had my wisdom teeth removed. (One day, I shall devise a way to get anasthesia to really work on people who are hyper sensitive... that was the most painful thing I've experience within the last 10 years)
- I've had serious surgery. (Hmm... I had some serious shit done to my teeth when I was little... apparently, apple juice in a bottle is REALLY bad for baby teeth. I got four silver caps on my canines(?not sure about that) and all four front teeth pulled... thank god they put me under for that)
- I've had chicken pox.

Travelling
- I've driven over 200 miles (320km) in one day.
- I've been on a plane.
- I've been to North America. (Dude, I live here.)
- I've been to Niagara Falls.
- I've been to Japan.
- I've been to Europe. (I was hoping this summer but I don't think that's gonna pan out... Canadian dollar sucks! and then there's this recession... what a bummer)
- I've been to Africa.

Experiences
- I've been lost in my city. (I don't live in a city but my dad does and we were there and actually, my grandparents got us lost. I wasn't driving and I take no responsibility... especially considering I decided that sleeping through the argument was in my best interest. Thank god for ear buds.)
- I've seen a shooting star.
- I've wished on a shooting star.
- I've seen a meteor shower.
- I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
- I've pushed all the buttons in an elevator.
- I've been to a casino.
- I've been skydiving.
- I've gone skinny dipping. (In the Pacific! It was for a holiday and it was FREAKING COLD!!)
- I've played spin the bottle.
- I've crashed a car.
- I've been skiing. (I grew up skiing... when you live in a northern town where there's snow on the ground for a good 3/4 of the year, skiing is what you do.)
- I've been in a play.
- I've met someone in person from the internet.
- I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
- I've seen the northern lights.
- I've sat on a roof top at night.
- I've played chicken.
- I've seen the RHPS. (huh? what's this?)
- I've eaten sushi.
- I've been snowboarding. (once and only once. I'm a skier and proud of it)

Relationships
- I'm single.
- I'm in a relationship.
- I'm available.
- I'm engaged.
- I'm married.
- I've gone on a blind date.
- I've been the dumpee more than the dumper.
- I have a fear of abandonment. (Yeah... well, I blame it on my mother...but it's gotten a ton better lately)
- I've been divorced.
- I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back. (Not sure about this one...I'm pretty sure they didn't have them back but I was too chicken to find out)
- I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
- I've told someone I didn't love them when I did. (I'll regret this to my dying day. I wish I could say I was sorry, though..)
- I've kept something from a past relationship.

Sexuality
TB didn't put this and the one question she did answer wasn't pertinent to me...

Honesty/Crime
- I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
- I have lied to my parents about where I am. (It was a small lie... and I did end up at that place... besides, I think my mum has spies everywhere...)
- I am keeping a secret from the world. (In a way... and I'm not even sure it's true)
- I've cheated while playing a video game. (Actually, I let my brother and cousin put the cheat in... I have no idea how or where to find them but they do...so I use them! And why not? why create them if they're not to be used? :D)
- I've cheated on a test.
- I've driven through a red light. (Not on purpose.)
- I've been suspended from school.
- I've witnessed a crime.
- I've been in a fist fight. (It included more than fists and he won... strangely enough, all he did was make sure I never hurt him. I didn't realize til later though.. and now I feel bad for getting mad at him like that... must have been teenage hormones or something.. although I admit to being severely immature.)
- I've been arrested.
- I've shoplifted.

Drugs/Alcohol
- I've consumed alcohol.
- I have/do smoke(d) cigarettes. (Nah, enough people in my family do it... I don't need to add to the smog)
- I have/do smoke(d) pot.
- I regularly drink.
- I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
- I take cough medication when I'm not sick. (Do eating Halls count? Cause i really love the cherry ones...)
- I've done hard drugs.
- I've been addicted to an illegal substance.
- I can't swallow pills.
- I can swallow about five pills at a time no problems.

Random
- I can sing well. (I can sing. Not well... though I can stay in tune.. comes with playing a instrument for 10 years)
- I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
- I open up to others too easily. (I like to talk... but I rarely let them closer than that.)
- I watch the news. (My dad is WAY into news watching... and we've only one TV)
- I don't kill bugs. (There shall be no end to this war... and I shall come out victorious for I shall settle for nothing less. Except maybe when my best friend is around... then she cries or gets seriously upset... so I have to call a truce)
- I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for sake of being able to rhyme.
- I fucking swear regularly. (I do... and people are still shocked. It makes me wonder if it's something about my face or they way I dress...or the fact I went to a Catholic school?)
- I sing in the shower. (Humming... less embarrassing when people ask what I was humming rather than 'oh! I know that song! but doens't it go like...?)
- I am a morning person. (I can work better... but cheerful people are annoying. Maybe I get more work done because I transfer all than annoyed energy into working energy?)
- I paid for my mobile phone ring tone.
- I'm a snob about grammar. ("Not in speech or casual email between good friends, but if that's the first time I've read something from you I will think less of you for making ridiculous mistakes." TB wrote that and I agree wholeheartedly!)
- I am a sports fanatic. (What's the opposite of this?)
- I play with my hair. (unfortunate habit... it annoys even me)
- I have/had "x"s in my screen name.
- I love being neat. (Depends on when... every now and then I fall prey to this... feeling... and I go into a whirlwind cleaning spree... my mum loves it since she IS a neat freak.)
- I love spam. (Why is this a question?)
- I've copied more than 30 cds in a day.
- I bake well. (Probably my favorite method of cooking)
- My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue.
- I don't know how to shoot a gun. (I was a biathlete... I know how to shoot a rifle not a gun. Apparently, there is a distinction to those who are snobbish about that kind of shit.)
- I am in love with love. (wuh?)
- I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
- I laugh at my own jokes. (My family has a bad pun war going...if I think of one I do laugh because I can imagine the faces I would get for it... the better the faces, the better the bad pun... which is a bit of an oxymoron, I suppose)
- I eat fast food weekly. (Lately, unfortunately that's a yes... but it's snacks... which probably makes it worse.)
- I believe in ghosts. (I'm more afraid of real people than of anything else)
- I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
- I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room. (and so on goes the war... it's usually dead before I fall asleep.)
- I am really ticklish.
- I love white chocolate. (I tolerate it... my brother loves it and I love to steal it... so... not sure that counts)
- I bite my nails. (Only when they're ragged or a piece is sharp or something... but then I trim it. Besides, I rarely have nails long enough to chew, musician protocol and all that)
- I play video games. (at my dad's... he's a whiz)
- I'm good at remembering faces.
- I'm good at remembering names.
- I'm good at remembering dates.
- I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life. (it scares me some days... if I think about it too long... not exactly a good reaction.)
- My answers are totally honest.

Stephenie Meyer and books... what's the big deal?

2008-07-20T01:07:57Z

This post is inspired by bryonebrynn's post over on her page... http://bryoneybrynn.livejournal.com/42688.html?view=866496#t866496 (go here if you want to see it... and could someone tell me how to make links? I'm completely hopeless in that department...)

So, what IS the big deal? In the last few years, Twilight, New Moon and Eclipse have taken over the teen girls book world and are even now, being made into a movie... Thousands upon thousands of people have bought and read these books and the reviews are just wild about them.
So. What's the fuss all about?

Personally, I've just started reading her other book 'The Host' and am enjoying it. It's not quite the un-put-downable book that I expected but it is interesting. On it's back cover people like Orson Scott Card, Ridley Pearson, and Katherine Neville give her rave reviews; going so far as to call her 'a hybrid combination of Stephen King and Issac Asimov'.

... A little scary, that.

So is there anyone else out there a little confused? Obviously there is a draw about these books... or else we're all just a bunch of sheep following the craze.

Which could be the answer, actually.

Anyone else have any input?

I'll Love You... Forever

2007-12-01T03:52:32Z

This is a Dearka/Yzak I wrote a while ago... got rather bored and wanted to put it here for something to do... it's also on ff.net as some other stuff but my LJ page look sad and empty, so this is to fill that emptiness... at least for a while.

--------

SLAM.

There was such a note of finality about the way the door shut that Yzak gasped for breath; they were harsh gulps of air that were almost sobs- but he didn’t let them out. He couldn’t let them out.

“Don’t push me away like this just ‘cause you can’t handle it, Yzak.”

The words reverberated inside his head so loudly that at first he thought they had been spoken aloud. He sat upright quickly, glancing around the room, his small hope dying when he saw that he was alone.

“Are you always gonna to be alone, then?”

This time he didn’t jump at the voice but recognized it for what it was and answered accordingly.

‘But that’s how it works, doesn’t it? If you can’t be together then you have to be alone, right? There are no other options.’

“Stop lying to yourself. You don’t want there to be any other options. I. Love. You. Why can’t you just at least accept that?”

‘But how could he? It didn’t make sense. It was impossible to even comprehend.’

“It’s not supposed to make sense, Yzak. Why do you always have to make everything fit into your little, perfectly-ordered world?”

Yzak fumed at that memory. Little perfectly-ordered world, indeed. If it was so perfect, then why was it falling apart around his ears?

‘And it wasn’t that it didn’t fit; it didn’t make enough sense to fit! Argh! How could he do this to him?!’

“You think this is easy for me?! I’m having just as much trouble with it as you are; I’m just not fighting it like you are. I’m not so locked up inside that I can’t imagine letting anyone else in. You’re my best friend, Yzak; I’ve already let you in. Why can’t you let me in, too? What are you so scared of?”

He wasn’t scared! How could the bastard even think that was the problem?!

‘What is there to be scared of, anyways?’

“Stop it, Yzak; just… stop it. I’m sorry about this. I had thought that maybe… well, that maybe you’d feel something, too. But I can see that’s impossible for you right now. And I’m not stupid enough to think that I can talk you around. But I can see it, you know. I can see you; and I can see… Whatever, Yzak, I’m leaving.”

Damn him, why couldn’t he have finished that thought before leaving and slamming the door?

…But he already knew.

Somewhere, in some part of his being, he knew what Dearka had been about to say. He could feel it inside of him… and he couldn’t deny what it was.

It was a sort of pang, or a click; like that of a lock opening… it was the unlocking of the tightly sealed chest that he harboured in his heart – and it scared him shitless. He’d made those locks so that no one could get in and they’d served him well so far throughout his life. But why weren’t they holding now?! Why weren’t they holding at this time when he needed them to hold the strongest?!

Oh, why couldn’t Dearka have just stayed away?

But he hadn’t.

And Yzak hadn’t been able to say ‘no’.

That first intimate night; fueled by alcohol, post-battle relief, and lust; had been… amazing for Yzak. He had never before had such close contact with anyone else and it had been thrilling. It had filled him with such a longing for another’s touch that he had not had the strength to refuse when Dearka continued to return.

And then it had gotten out of control.

That entire day had been strange, Dearka had at first seemed entirely too happy when he had greeted him this morning, smiling and laughing; but then there had been an abrupt change in the afternoon where Dearka had seemed unable to acknowledge that Yzak even existed, ignoring him and leaving the room almost immediately after Yzak entered it. And then Dearka had come to his room that night, same as always, but there had been something intensely different about him. Rather than the usual rushed and bruising passion of their many previous encounters, Dearka had instead been slow and gentle. He had caressed and stroked every inch of Yzak’s body sensually following his burning hands with the brush of feather-light kisses. Dearka had worshipped his body until Yzak had exploded into a white heaven, gasping and crying out while drowning in the extreme pleasure.

But Dearka had ruined it. He had shattered Yzak’s heaven with a single sentence murmured softly into his silver, sweat-soaked hair.

I’ll love you… forever.

Yzak had neither climaxed so hard nor recovered so fast. There had been no post-orgasmic bliss; instead it had been swept away by those four little words.

“Get out.”

“Yzak…”

“I said, Get. Out.”

“…”

“Now, Dearka! Get out! Get out! GET OUT!!”

“Yzak! Stop it!”

“How could you?! How could you say something like that to me?!”

“Don’t push me away just ‘cause you can’t handle it, Yzak.”

The resulting argument had ended in Dearka storming from the room, slamming the door with such finality that it had shocked Yzak into replaying the entire conversation over and over inside his head. But there was still one unanswered question. One he had not- could not, even dare not- answer…

“What are you so scared of?”

He shuddered helplessly. In the darkness of his room he could admit to the answerless, unassuming ceiling the fears that he thought he had hidden away so well. He had locked them into a dark chest along with the rest of the emotions that were useless to a soldier of ZAFT and the son of Ezalia Joule. That chest, he knew, had been for his protection… protection against the demands of his mother, and his military training… protection against the weakness of being swayed and taken over by his stronger emotions… But mostly it had been protection against other people… people who might demand a place in his heart.

But then there was Dearka.

Good-natured, easy-going, and friendly Dearka. How could he possibly accept that someone like that wanted to give him- a cold, temperamental, arrogant bastard- their very heart?

“Why can’t you at least accept that?”

But he couldn’t. It was that that made no sense. How could someone even think of giving their heart to one who has no heart? How can they hope that the one they are giving it to will even know how to hold it carefully, gently? The heartless only know how easily the heart can break.

“Why won’t you let me in?”

He laughed harshly, without humour. How could you let someone in that was already in? Dearka had already pried at the black box that was his heart. Hell, he hadn’t just pried but had actually managed to unlock a part of it and had then tried to jump inside. And now he was intent on shoving the whole thing open- exposing it to the sun. A sun that had already found it and was shining bright enough to burn away the dampness...

He knew- of course he knew- that it wasn’t a question of why anymore… it was more a question of when.

When was he going to admit that he had a heart, such as it is, and that it had always been Dearka’s?

“What are you so scared of?”

He had been scared that someone would dare to love him.

So scared, in fact, that he had immediately locked down his heart in the fear that someone would find it and throw it to the ground. But it had been found and, instead of throwing it away, it was being cherished, held; someone wanted him… someone wanted his heart.

But how could he possibly ask someone to hold his twisted, blackened, sorry excuse for a heart? How could he possibly ask someone to fill up the space left in his chest from giving them his own heart? Wouldn’t that be asking too much? Would someone even be willing to try?

“Dearka…”

He had to get to Dearka- he had to tell him, show him- that he wanted him too. He needed him. He needed Dearka and no one else.

Rolling quickly out of the bed, he haphazardly grabbed clothes and tugged them on, rushing in his haste to get to Dearka.

He raced through the hallways, heedless to the stares of his crewmates, and banged crazily on Dearka’s door.

“Dearka… Dearka…” He was gasping, breathless from running at breakneck speed through cramped corridors and from the tension that hadn’t eased from the moment Dearka had left his room earlier. “Elsman! Open this door, now!”

The door flew open and a tanned hand reached out and hauled him heavily through into the room. Yzak gasped again as he was shoved unceremoniously down onto the bed. There wasn’t time to catch his breath before a heavy, warm weight landed on top of him.

He laid there, chest heaving, staring into dark violet orbs and couldn’t tell whether he was gasping from having the wind knocked out of him or just from the mere presence of the other male… maybe it was both.

Those violet eyes blinked slowly and continued to stare at him and he knew that Dearka was waiting for him to start.

“Dearka, I-I…” He heaved in another deep breath and stuttered to a halt. How was he supposed to go about this?!

“I… Dearka… I-I… Argh! What the hell am I supposed to say?!”

A rumble rattled through his chest and it took him a second to realize that the bastard was laughing at him!

“Hey! Knock it off, you idiot! I’m being serious!”

“I-I know,” Dearka chuckled, having trouble forming words through his laughter, “That was just… so you that I couldn’t help it.”

Yzak glared up at the laughing blonde and, determined to show Dearka that he was being serious about this, pulled him down into a kiss that shut the blonde up most effectively.

When they finally pulled apart, weak and breathless, Dearka buried his face in Yzak’s neck and whispered, “So you finally figured it out?”

Yzak pulled away and fixed his blue eyes onto Dearka’s violet ones, trying to convey through them the words he was having trouble voicing aloud.

Dearka smiled. Gazing back into those intensely, dazzling sapphire eyes, he knew-

One day he’d hear those words that were shining so brightly in the other’s eyes…

“I’ll love you… forever.”

I don't know why I need to bother to post something...

2007-11-20T20:09:07Z

But I will and here it is:

If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

Right, and so WHY must be work so hard on spelling if you can get away with this?!